


estimated time: 5 seconds

by roboticdragons



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Angst without a happy ending, Existential Angst, Glitches, M/M, seriously this is just sad for the sake of sad at this point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:28:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24644818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roboticdragons/pseuds/roboticdragons
Summary: A near-death experience (NDE) is a profound personal experience associated with death or impending death which researchers claim share similar characteristics. When positive, such experiences may encompass a variety of sensations including detachment from the body, feelings of levitation, total serenity, security, warmth, the experience of absolute dissolution, and the presence of a light. When negative, such experiences may include sensatio01101110 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100111 01110101 01101001 01110011 01101000 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100100 01101001 01110011 01110100 01110010 01100101 01110011[1]
Relationships: Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 108





	estimated time: 5 seconds

**Author's Note:**

> i don't usually write just straight downer stuff, in fact i really prefer endings where the science team get out (especially dr coomer!!!)
> 
> but [this pic](https://batz.tumblr.com/post/620516041083224064/27-sharing-a-near-death-goodbye-18-dancing-fun) left me devastated and inspired so have it :P
> 
> this was not proofread or edited. it may be later.

A  **near-death experience** ( **NDE** ) is a profound personal experience associated with death or impending death which researchers claim share similar characteristics. When positive, such experiences may encompass a variety of sensations including detachment from the body, feelings of levitation, total serenity, security, warmth, the experience of absolute dissolution, and the presence of a light. When negative, such experiences may include sensatio01101110 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100111 01110101 01101001 01110011 01101000 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100100 01101001 01110011 01110100 01110010 01100101 01110011 [ [1] ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Near-death_experience#cite_note-Sleutjes2014rev-1)

Coomer couldn’t tell where, exactly, it had begun. Only a millisecond in and his memory was already showing signs of corruption - they’d gone to Xen, of course, then that wonderful ‘Chuck E Cheese’ restaurant to celebrate dear Tommy’s birthday, and then.

And then.

See, there’s where it started getting a little bit difficult, because for the life of him Coomer can’t remember what happened next. Looking around at his surroundings might help, give him a more solid idea of where they were, and then he’d work backwards and figure out how they got here! But a full second’s passed now, and the walls and floor neatly slice into chunks, then blip out one by one 

by zero by one by one by one by zero by one by one by one by

And before he knows it, it’s gone, any memory of what it looked like is gone, and they’re standing on nothing but nothing.

**They** . Not him, they, Coomer realises. He’s not alone, not this time at least: a couple [measurement] away floats Tommy, looking...awfully calm, considering the circumstances. Peaceful. Waiting, eyes half-open, staring off into the [texture not found].

Had he known? He’d never shown signs of ever knowing. Always cheerful (though Coomer was cheerful too, he tried  _ so hard _ to keep up appearances. Had he been doing it for the other’s sake, or his own?), always so...innocent. Deceptively so. Even with his...unusual heritage, Coomer was reasonably sure Tommy was still in the dark about The Truth. They all were, Tommy, Bubby, that strange ‘G-Man’ individual. Even Benrey, though the guard liked to believe otherwise, liked to insinuate that yea, sure, he knew what was going on, he’s a security guard they know lots of things he’s cool.

But he didn’t. Coomer was, as far as he knew, the only one in this damnable game that Knew. Why, he wasn’t sure.  Something, somewhere, must have gone horribly, horribly wrong with his code, and just his, which is a [noun]:

Blessing, because he’s the  _ only _ one who has to go through that hell.

Curse, because  _ he’s _ the only one who has to go through that hell.

Back to the present, he’s losing his [vehicle] of thought. Tommy’s over there, and someone’s standing close to Coomer. Who is it?

Oh.

Professor (“ **_Doctor._ ** ” An exasperated sigh, a playful punch to the shoulder that deflects off of Coomer like a thrown pebble off a battleship. Coomer smiles, and doesn’t punch back. He doesn’t want to break two arms this week!) Bubby. He’s standing next to him, looking past him into the nothing, wearing an expression of stark and hopeless horror that breaks Coomer’s heart.

2 seconds have passed.

The nothing doesn’t creep in, doesn’t stalk the team slowly and cruelly, because that would imply emotion behind it, a malice it lacked. Nothing is not hateful, or angry. It is slow and methodical and works its way through its task with about as much emotion of a fax machine, and so [npc: scientist_one] disappears without much of a fuss.

It’s just them now.

Bubby screams, or tries to at least, because by god that man will not go quietly into oblivion. Coomer could never imagine that. Even in another world, where there’s no Black Mesa, no resonances cascading, just an apartment and a lab and a sky so wonderfully real Coomer tears up each and every morning, he just can’t conceptualise Bubby going softly from a hospital bed. He is a fire, and will burn out with all the dignity of a roaring blaze suddenly smothered.

Something that definitely isn’t a scream erupts from Bubby and is cut short just as quickly. They’re 3 seconds in and the voice codec’s likely stopped working, and though Coomer doesn’t try he knows that, should he try and speak, there’d be next to nothing there.

So he doesn’t try. Instead, Coomer grabs Bubby’s hands while their meshes still render physics and holds him close as if his life depended on it (which it doesn’t, no matter what he does they’ve got a second and a half left) and closes his eyes, and hopes Bubby does the same

Because he’s  _ used _ to this, he’s seen nothing take everyone and everything and Bubby  _ hadn’t _ . This is, sure, scary for him; in the back of his mind he feels it all start slipping away and it’s not being deactivated it’s being deleted it’s all being deleted but he

Wrenches his thoughts back on track: Bubby. This is scarier for Bubby than it is for him so he hugs him tighter and rocks a little back and forth, a

nd just for a second it’s just like the old days, and there’s music and there’s lights and he’s dancing and he’s holding the man he loves and he’s smiling and they’re laughing and the melody comes softly to a close.

And 5 seconds are up, and the memory, along with Coomer, and Bubby, and everything else, is gone.

* * *

You’d think for a VR Game it’d have a couple more gigabytes but no, that stupid cursed copy of ‘‘‘‘Half Life’’’’ was only around 100MB. Ah well, ‘Gordon’ thought, waiting for the little green bar to tick through, made deleting it a hell of a lot easier. Only took 5 seconds or so. He kinda wishes it was a physical disk, not a shady download off some gmod fansite, if only so he could burn it in his backyard. He’s not forgetting the trauma that fucking thing gave him any time soon.


End file.
